Last Updated on January 6, 2025 by SampleBoard
What is self-love when you break it down to its most constituent, essential elements?
Well, that depends on who you ask, of course. For some, it means accepting themselves, even at their worst moments.
That’s not the wrong place to start. For others, it means working on themselves and not being afraid to see their character flaws, provided they use them as a lesson to develop.
Again, that’s a pretty healthy way to approach life.
Let’s pose another theory—self-love is about learning and loving more about yourself, whether you’re highly skilled or hopelessly incapable.
Going out of our comfort zone, trusting the process, learning to do what we know is right, and not being ashamed to learn of our preferences can be very helpful.
We often see this in younger adults as they test a few life scenarios to see what’s best for them, but it’s also true that such work can last a lifetime.
None of us are ever a “complete product,” for example.
This gives us the freedom and room to maneuver, and we should always greet another day with the possibility it brings.
That’s quite a nice place to begin an article, of course, but to prevent such guidance from becoming a set of platitudes, it may be worthwhile to examine some practical examples.
In this post, we’ll discuss nine steps for learning and loving more about yourself.
Without further ado, let’s begin.
We often assume style means what colors or accessories we wear, but style goes beyond clothes.
It reflects how you present yourself, what you appreciate in your environment, and what brings you comfort.
Your style speaks to who you are, and discovering it can be part of embracing self-love because it’s not about meeting a test but showing what you prefer.
Try different wardrobes or refresh your living space to connect with what feels authentic—luckily, there’s never been a better time to avoid conforming.
Of course, if you prefer to conform, that can still be valid.
The clothes you wear can transform how you feel about yourself. Choose brands that celebrate your unique beauty, like Ellaé Lisqué.
Explore their stunning collection of dresses and find your perfect fit at ellaelisque.com.
You can also learn about yourself, such as what shades match your natural skin tone, or get guides such as How to Determine Your Hair Type | Hair.com By L’Oréal
This way, you feel more confident about what works for you, objectively and subjectively.
It’s pretty standard to adopt values from those around you - parents, friends, and teachers all count here - but as you grow, it’s wise to reflect on what truly matters to you.
You don’t have to reinvent the wheel here. Maybe you prefer honesty, kindness, independence, or all three and more, as defining these values clearly helps you make decisions with more clarity and confidence and gives you an excellent orientation to point to.
It’s a chance to connect with yourself and what you stand for in the long term - even if you don’t feel like a fully formed personality, you could do worse than these efforts.
Changing your mind isn’t a flaw; it shows intelligence and development.
Think about times when you've shifted your perspective, whether from new information or life experiences.
Perhaps you grew up in a super religious household and once felt queer relationships were wrong but have now grown from that.
These moments help you understand how adaptable you are and how willing you are to reassess beliefs when needed.
When you feel weak or unsure, remembering these shifts reminds you that you’ve shown personal growth before and reveals your openness to learning more about yourself.
It’s part of developing a well-rounded understanding of your identity, which evolves with time.
Don’t worry; you’ll change your mind even in old age.
We all make mistakes, but holding onto guilt prevents growth no matter what it’s about.
Learning to forgive yourself is one of the most liberating forms of self-love and necessary because we’re willing to bet you are your harshest critic.
That means accepting that you’re human, capable of errors, and deserving of compassion. Everyone makes mistakes.
We will likely make them in the future, too. But that’s okay; learn from them to the best of your ability.
Moreover, reflect on moments that still weigh on your mind. Instead of being harsh, try to see what you’ve learned and accept the strength it took to move forward.
Forgiveness doesn’t erase the past but allows you to live more freely without carrying all that weight.
More people could do with learning that skill, so don’t deprive yourself of it.
Of course, to learn and love your flaws and strengths, you must also be willing to do it in other people.
Some people say that the behaviors you judge others for often strike you because, somehow, you can relate to them.
Of course, that’s not always the case, quite clearly, but the point does show that the standards we hold others to should be the ones we hold ourselves to.
Even when it’s difficult, forgiving others also lightens the emotional load for ourselves.
Holding onto grudges takes up mental energy and keeps you from progressing.
This doesn’t mean forgetting, but rather, letting go of the bitterness that weighs on you or dismissing people for being flawed.
If you do this, you may also start seeing yourself more clearly.
It’s a good antidote for externalizing problems.
Most of us use momentum and routine because that’s how we retain our energies.
But that also means it is easy to continue with habits, relationships, or routines that no longer serve you.
Taking the time to assess what’s not working is an act of self-care, especially if you can learn to let go.
That might be a harsh career that drains your energy or a friendship that no longer feels right and mutually supportive.
It’s not fun to recognize these areas aren’t working for you, but we’re willing to bet doing so could make you feel more connected than ever.
Sometimes, letting go is the deepest act of self-love you can give to yourself, even, and perhaps especially, because it’s hard.
Your visual taste, like your style, says a lot about you.
Even little things like your favorite colors, the kind of art you’re drawn to, the architecture you like, or the design of your living space elements reflect what brings you joy or calm.
Exploring these things and going further than your comfort zone is fun.
It helps you understand the eras you love, the history you’re drawn to, and even your values.
Exploring different forms of art or design can reveal more profound aspects of your personality, even if you didn’t notice them before, and it goes more deeply than just what a blog post can define about you.
If you nurture this aspect of yourself, you become more sure of yourself without explaining why.
That might not sound convincing, but you’ll know when you experience it.
Learning to be a person is about knowing how and when to manage your energies.
Understanding when you feel most productive or relaxed throughout the day helps you plan your activities with your natural energy levels and focus, depending on your schedule.
You thrive in the quiet of the morning or find your energy at night and can determine career habits around those.
Or maybe you prefer reading at night instead of in the morning because you retain more information.
That’s also valuable; little insights can go into how you plan your days.
After all, how you spend your days is how you spend your life.
The people we surround ourselves with can say a lot about our character, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.
For example, if you’re generally a pretty nice person but spend more time around people who aren’t good for you or themselves, that might be a flaw worth inspecting and working on.
You can consider the personalities that you’re drawn to, both romantically and in friendships, to get a better view; whether you prefer humor, shared values, or the ability to make you feel understood, these connections often reveal what you value most in relationships and also in yourself and the kind of atmosphere you like to develop for yourself.
With this advice, we hope you can learn and love many more things about yourself.
We hope this encourages you to dig deeper, leading to even more self-acceptance.
You deserve to have it.
